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#12 - Not all stress is harmful
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a wonderful year ahead (it’s that time of the year when resolutions run wild!). Let’s not be hard on ourselves (I’ll tell you why in this post) and be grateful that we made it to the end of 2020, at last!
As an old lady wondered in all seriousness:
“How many days in March 2020?”
Yes, it’s been that kind of a year. But we need to move on, however slow it might be. That’s exactly what I’m going to do now.
This post consists of two sections:
What kind of stress do you or your children go through?
An unrelated but interesting excerpt from an article on “We are only as good as our worst day” (Trust me, it is amazing!)
Not all stress is harmful
There is no denying the fact that healthy development can be derailed by certain types of stress. But see I used the phrase “certain types of stress”? Because not ALL stress is harmful. Enter Positive Stress!
Picture courtesy: freepik.com
There is something called Positive Stress, which can be both tolerable and even beneficial for healthy development. Such stress is very normal.
But it is very important for adults to not be naive about it, and understand what qualifies as positive stress. The opposite of this type of stress is what we generally refer to as TOXIC STRESS.
Let’s take a look at the key differences between the two major types of stress:
(Click on the image to enlarge)
The relationships children have with their caregivers play critical roles in regulating stress hormone production during the early years of life, and beyond.
Before we close out on this section, I request you to reflect on the following questions:
Do you allow your children to fight through ‘Positive Stress’, or deny them this ‘luxury’? (This point is closely related to my previous post on Growth Mindset)
At the same time, is your child’s enviornment devoid of toxic stress?
Are we only as good as our worst day?
I often draw inspiration and content from various articles and books. I found this paragraph from the article titled “You are only as good as your worst day” from Farnam Street to be extremely insightful! How can I not share it with all of you?!
Here is the excerpt:
As individuals, we tell people the most about who we are when everything goes wrong. These times are also when we stand to learn the most about ourselves.
Your kids might not remember how you behaved on a relaxed, sunny Saturday when work went well all week and you had little on your mind beyond playing with them. But they’re sure to remember how you behaved on the day when you’d lost your job due to a recession, you’d just had an argument with your partner, an unexpected bill arrived in the mail that morning, and then someone spilled spaghetti sauce on the couch.
That’s the day when your behavior has the most to show them about what to model in the future.
Your worst day is a chance to show your best qualities, to stand out, and to learn an enormous amount about yourself. Very few people plan or prepare for what they’ll do and how they’ll act during those times. Those who do might well end up turning their worst day into their best.
Well, what do you think? How are you on your worst day? I figured out that I have a lot to improve personally on this front. But I’m slowly developing a growth mindset (Yes, I’m still nudging you to read my previous post), so I’m sure I will improve in the days to come!
See you next Friday!
With lots of hope for 2021,